My sweet, sweet baby. you would have been 3 months old today. Instead, you are on our mantle and forever in my heart, spending time with me in a different way. A way that I am still learning to live with.
Because of you, I am a mom. I am more me, then ever before.
Again, becoming a parent changes you entirely, in all of the best ways possible.
I owe everything in me, to you. You are everything and you always will be. The driving force for everything that comes next. The good in the world. The hope, the light, an actual angel born to this earth.
How lucky we are to be your parents.
This guy right here… this wonderful, selfless, hard-working, emotionally supportive husband and dad right here. You held me tonight for a long time and you let me cry, as you always do, for as long as it takes.
I continue to pump every night and he knows how hard this is for me to do, emotionally and physically. It’s a serious commitment. One that he cannot fully understand, because he cannot experience it himself.
But I’ll tell you what he does understand. He understands the heartbreak I feel on a nightly basis that our son isn’t here for this. That the feelings I feel, cannot be consoled with words.
So instead, he falls asleep, every night, comforting me with a simple touch. A hand on my leg saying, “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You are not alone”. A hand to say, “I miss him too, I love him and I love you”. A hand, even when he doesn’t feel okay himself.
My God, how lucky I am. My God, how lucky Holden was to have you as his father.
I’m Taylor & this is my husband Ryan. We are the parent’s of Holden & the founders of our nonprofit, Holden’s Milky Way.
We have three major goals that we aim to meet. This includes creating a milk-sharing network/platform where local mamas can match with another mama+baby to exchange donor milk & create a special relationship with another who just “gets it”. We believe that by meeting face to face, that milk-donation becomes far more personal; a common goal is met: to watch the baby receiving the milk, grow happy & healthy. Lastly, we hope to build lasting, life-long connections between our ever growing community that can provide physical & emotional support whenever it is needed.
Our mission is to connect others to this genuine support system. To provide lactation resources and medical advice. To provide a raw and emotional guide to infant loss and grief or any current struggle a family may be enduring. To remind you that you are never alone in your lactation struggles, your thoughts, or your emotions – a sea of supportive women and mother’s walk along your side. This non-profit is here to ease your tribulations and to provide a comforting, non judgemental resource.
It takes a village to raise a child – please be a part of our village and help us make a true difference in this world. To support others is to live like Christ.
Continue following us for Holden’s full story & how by simply existing, he has impacted so many others!