This guy right here… this wonderful, selfless, hard-working, emotionally supportive husband and dad right here. You held me tonight for a long time and you let me cry, as you always do, for as long as it takes.
I continue to pump every night and he knows how hard this is for me to do, emotionally and physically. It’s a serious commitment. One that he cannot fully understand, because he cannot experience it himself.
But I’ll tell you what he does understand. He understands the heartbreak I feel on a nightly basis that our son isn’t here for this. That the feelings I feel, cannot be consoled with words.
So instead, he falls asleep, every night, comforting me with a simple touch. A hand on my leg saying, “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You are not alone”. A hand to say, “I miss him too, I love him and I love you”. A hand, even when he doesn’t feel okay himself.
My God, how lucky I am. My God, how lucky Holden was to have you as his father.